I can’t belive I still think about you, it’s been 7months but I still regret losing you. Why was I so stupid? Why did I pick the wrong boy just because he was more socially acceptable for me? I still think about how you said you want *need* to fuck me. I think it was you who helped me love my body, you called me beautiful. breathtaking. God. It is stupid of me to think that you still care, obviously you have moved on. I was only ever just a kid to you and that is painfully true. I am just a kid with a crush on a man, who I gave up on because I didn’t think I deserved you. You could have been the best thing to happen to me, but instead I fucked it up. I do that a lot, fucking up.
I don’t even want to know how much time I have wasted in the past 3 months applying to jobs which never got back to me -.-